Insecurity.

Insecurity. It's a problem that I know I face everyday. It's crazy that something so small can trigger it also. I can be fine all day until says something to me. It could be as simple as "you're not looking too good today." or "why are you so weird?" And it will change my mood completely. I'm going to be brutally honest with y'all in this blog post, okay? I want y'all to feel comfortable being honest with me, & that street goes both ways so yeah. I just feel like maybe if Im honest, it'll help someone out there who feels the same way I do. 

I am horribly insecure. Half of the time I feel like I don't like myself, and I know I shouldn't feel like that, but I do. I get upset at myself because I'm not as pretty as the other girls, or I'm not as popular as them, or I don't have as many friends as them, or because no guys like me like they like them. Usually, I feel so abnormal. And I hate that. I hate feeling like an outsider, and I hate feeling insecure, but it just happens. I'm not the girl all the guys like. I'm not the girl with fifty friends. I'm not the girl that has people fall at their feet. I'm not the girl that gets everything she wants. I'm not the cute girl that guys go crazy over. I'm not even the girl that has a bunch of real friends.

But, I'll tell you the girl that I am. I am the awkward girl that laughs at stupid jokes. I'm the girl that has my few true Bestfriends and has the craziest times with all of them. I'm the girl that is 15 and has only had one boyfriend in my entire life. Seriously, only one. I am the girl that loves Jesus with all her heart, and would do anything to show the world that. I am the girl that would do anything to help a friend. I am the girl with problems, but I'm working through them, glory to God! I am the girl that will always yearn for God. I am the girl that shouldn't be complaining for the things I don't have, but for the blessings that I do have! 

A thought dawned on me one morning when I was getting ready. I am soooooo blessed. I have God (um hello that should be blessing enough in my book) an amazing mother, the sweetest nephew (who has my heart because hes so stinking cute), some of the best Bestfriends, my health, and a home. I may not have everything by the worlds standards, but by my standards, I have all I need.  Things could be sooooo much worse, and I thank God that they aren't! I know that I need to work on my insecurities, and I'm trying everyday. It's a battle, just like everything else. But, while I'm going through all of this, I can't help but sit back and praise God for alllllll of my blessings! I deserve nothing, but He gives me everything! 

Basically, if you're the same way I am, I just wanna encourage you. You are beautiful. And I know that seems like a cliche, but it's true. You are SO beautiful. I mean come on! The CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE MADE YOU! God doesn't make mistakes. You are not a mistake. You are perfect. Don't change, and don't hate yourself. Instead, learn to love your insecurities, and soon enough they will fade. You are so strong, and so incredibly amazing, love. You are going to make a man of God so happy one day! :) 

And for all the guys out there dealing with insecurities, you are so awesome. Literally, you're amazing. You may not feel it all the time, but you are. You may not be the guy that every girl wants, or the jock with a hundred friends, but you are so incredibly awesome. God loves you, and theres a reason that you arent like them. In my book, you're just as good as they are. If you're reading this, you obviously aren't afraid to rep God so you're the one with confidence. Don't forget that! You're so amazing in your own ways, and you're going to make a woman of God very happy some day! :)

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

-Romans 12:2 

Just as the scripture says, do not conform to the world. The world may say you are weird or don't belong or that you're not good enough, but that is a lie. Well, not the part about not belonging. We DON'T belong HERE, we belong in HEAVEN! Heaven is our forever home, so of course we aren't going to fit in here! You can compare here to someone else's home. While staying at someone else's home you feel out of place, right? Same with the world. And when you come back to your house, you just feel at home? Well, that's how Heaven is going to be. It'll be like coming home from a long journey and finally feeling completely at peace and at home. So, we don't belong here. But, we were put here for a purpose, and until that purpose is completed and we are called home, we are to live here and tell as many people about their true home as we can. But going back to people calling you weird or not good enough, thats a lie. You are PERFECT in God's eyes, and let me tell you, there could never be a more beautiful you (yes, I do love that song btw). But really, you're so awesome. Don't ever change for anyone. God is the only one who you should look to for approval, and I'm preaching to myself with this whole blog y'all. Basically, God doesn't make mistakes. You are amazing, despite your insecurities. The number on the scale does not define you. The number of friends you have does not define you. Your family situation does not define you. Your hurt does not define you. The only thing that defines you is the precious blood of Jesus that was poured out on the cross for your sins. And that tells me that you are priceless. 

Keep your heads up princesses and princes. You are the beautiful ones, society is the one that is ugly. Stay strong lovelies! I heart yall!

- love always, @InfiniteFaith7